A New Beginining

It’s a new beginning. And the future looms ahead. A white board. Yet to be written on.
Yet at the same time I am looking behind me. Allowing a tear or two to drop at the things I left behind.
I thought I was ready. Even if I was not completely ready, I knew the Lord was ready to move me. 
Two weeks ago today I was thinking about the party that was being thrown in my honor that evening. I listened as people stood to tell how we met, the impact I had on their lives, and about Nashville’s loss.  I confidently told them that the Lord had told me to go, to be near family. That He had a plan.
It is easier to act confident before you actually make the move.
Then the move happened. 
The trip from Nashville to Arizona was an adventure in itself. The big truck my friend Richard and I were driving, with all my worldly belongings. Pulling a trailer with my SUV behind. 
With a dog on my lap.
Then came the stories. 
The air conditioning that went out a mile into the 1600-mile trip. Remember, with a dog on my lap. And headed to h-o-t Arizona. We had to resort to factory air conditioning. Meaning we opened the windows that the factory installed!
The rain storm that gave a little relief added dry rot wipers to the adventure. Swish! Swish! As the windows stayed rain splashed.
A warning light the second day on the trip. Budget Rental just might have forgotten to fill up the DEF tank for the emissions OR to tell us about this at all. The tuck struggled trying to go five miles an hour before we halted and called them. 
When we arrived in Arizona, tired and stinky, it was time to unload. Storage unit and a new place to live, complete with 19 curvy steps to take my living room and bedroom furniture. 
And then Richard left and my sister arrived from Minnesota.
A new beginning. Not knowing what tomorrow will bring. Being completely out of control of what is going to happen. No idea of His plans for my life, for my next step. 
So, I sit here in the early morning hours writing this and not being any closer to knowing His will. TRYING to trust Him. And let go of the reins.
I sing ‘Jesus Take the Wheel’ as I grapple for the steering wheel of my life. 
“Sandy, get in the back seat and enjoy the ride. I have the road map of your life. Trust Me.”
As I take a deep breath and start to trust. Just a little. 

But it’s a start.